My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
