dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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