My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
