I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
