Yo dont text me then not text me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
