She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We need to rekindle our bromance
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
