if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
