I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
