saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
