Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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