you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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