Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
