Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
