There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
