this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
