He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
