I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
