And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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