I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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