Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
