I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
