My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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