Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
