I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The adults are the big ones right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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