dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
