return my video game
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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