he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize