thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
