p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
