if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
