I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
