Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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