Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize