they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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