He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
