We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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