apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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