When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
