are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
