She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
