I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When are your genitals available?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
