what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
