She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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