found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Hippo gnu deer
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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