fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
