So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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