it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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