Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
