The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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