More tranny stories later!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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