you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
