this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
