Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
