If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
