So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
