omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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