matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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