everyone is single if you try hard enough
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
