ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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